So the last entries are from April this year. And here we are November 1, 2020. Two days away from the US presidential election that will either be the beginning of another recovery for the country or the continuation of its fall. And what am I thinking about? The total lack of new posts and creative activity.
For almost everyone, 2020 is a dog shit year. Being lucky is still having a job, a home, health insurance, and good health. It’s a wonder that anyone can think of anything outside of those fundamental needs. We are separated from family and friends. We are lucky to be sheltered with people that we love and will tolerate our falls to depression and ranting. We are wringing hands over the upcoming election. There will be fallout regardless of who is elected. This anxiety is far from over. How can I create anything in this maelstrom?
The better question is how can I not? 2020 has made me frightened of the world outside my door. Going to the grocery store is an exercise in anxiety management. And I want to create things. It’s hard when the world outside that door keeps leaching through the weather stripping. I get started on something. It poses a question and as I ruminate on that for the answer, the world pecks at the window. A raven tapping out doom, inhumanity, pandemic, and idiocy.
I just want to create. To make myself happy. I want to share a thing I did with others. Everyday, I pull me feet from the sucking mud of 2020 and take a step forward. I hope that I have the wherewithal to make it to another day. Making it to another day is putting aside today. Place a bet, a vote, on tomorrow. Creating something today means that I will share it with someone tomorrow. It means that I will be here to receive the feedback.
I may not have posted anything to this blog since April 2020, but I have worked on things. My partner and I have painted together. We have played and loved together. We decorated for holidays. I built a world in a digital sandbox. I just haven’t felt like any of that is either for me to share because it is personal, or worthy of sharing.
Today, I say, “Screw that!” Almost all of it will be on the table. I will share with you the finished, the half-finished, and the dead in the sketchbook ideas.
